Lessons from a Soup Bowl

When Patrick was promoted to a manager last quarter, he found himself in a precarious situation. He had to continue doing what he did as a senior sales resource which was to go out in the field and close deals himself and at the same time had to start leading a small team of three sales executives who were looking up-to him for guidance and motivation. The transition was difficult as he had to change hats many a time in the same day. It started taking its toll, it always does. His team was running in all directions but the one direction he wanted them to.

One evening disheartened he visited his nephew’s home and as children often do, Patrick was made to read to his nephew a story of the wooden soup bowl which went like this…

An old man who lived in his village all his life moved to the city to live with his son who was married and had a family. Upon arriving in the city the father was excited to be with his son’s family and developed a special bonding with his grandson who was 7 years old. Initially everything was fine but as days went by, the old mans son started treating his father badly, he was made to sleep in the servant’s quarters and he was not allowed to eat at the table with the family. This disturbed the old man quite a bit. His grandson too was sad at the way his father was treating his grandfather. One day when the old man mistakenly broke a glass bowl full of soup his son and wife gave him a dressing down and handed him a wooden soup bowl in which to eat his food henceforth. The grandson was heartbroken, he went to a carpenter and spent time making a wooden soup bowl which he presented to his father that evening and said, “Dad when you are frail and old and have no strength you too will come to live with me when I will be all grown up and have a family of my own, this will be your bowl to eat from, take this and bring it along at that time so that I don’t have to give you a glass bowl which you might break in your old age”. The Father learnt his lesson that day and never treated the old man badly thereafter.

The three lessons that Patrick learnt from this story as a manager are..
Set the right expectations- Share with your team in all honesty that just because you have been promoted to a manager does not mean that you will inherit all the skill sets required to lead and inspire a team immediately. Just like the young father in the story, though a father he still had lots to learn and acquire in dealing with his family. Encourage your team to walk with you in your journey of learning by which they too will benefit and grow.
Empathize with your team- Put your self in to their shoes as this will enable you to deal and interact with them in a kinder more understanding way thereby allowing them to give you their best. Something the son never did and then had to be reminded by his little seven year old that empathizing with his father would help him get empathy from his son when he grew older
Lead by example- Do what you believe in and show how it is done, as this is the best way to lead your team and help them to grasp the finer nuances of the sales profession. The little boy did just that he did what he wanted and taught his father a great lesson on relationships.

As you work towards becoming a better leader remember the wooden soup bowl as it will help you brew your skills as a manager and leader of your team.

Fabtoid- A lesson is best given when told in the form of a story, tell stories and weave it with a message for your team, they will learn faster and appreciate the input. Fabian Cowan

A Case of Space

The connotations that go along with the word space have never ceased to amaze me, as is the case I am sure with many others of my ilk. The web definitions of the word S P A C E, oscillate between the technologically driven “a blank character used to separate successive words in writing or printing; to the geographically inclined “an empty area (usually bounded in some way between things); “they stopped at an open space in the jungle"; to the philosophical “the unlimited expanse in which everything is located.

The space that defines the genesis of this written piece is the one that is expressed in oh so many conversations in passing, eliciting debates and insights that derive largely from personal experiences. One such conversation that particularly scratched the surface of my imagination was based on the quantitative aspect of space that defines the success or the lack of it in a relationship. My colleague waxed eloquent about the fact that he made sure that he got his share of space every year by driving off to virgin lands in his quest for peace and tranquility which was the basis of his rejuvenation process and was man enough to extend the same privilege to his spouse thereby forming the basis of a convivial and lightened relationship. So was the case with a dear friend who sought his share of space every week in the fulsome helpings of the sunset yellow tinted liquid poured over finely caricatured cubes of ice. Another enlightened friend suggested that he did not have to move from point A to point B in search of space but created it out of where he was, it is all in the mind he would say; “My space begins where I wish it to be”. And there I would imagine lies the essence of the need of space.

One does not have to go to the hills to find enlightenment as Andrew Matthews, the famed author says, but it can be sought in your backyard if you wish. Space need not be a place where you go to seek it; it is within oneself, if only it can be reached.

“… man doesn't belong out there. Man belongs wherever he wants to go -- and he'll do plenty well when he gets there”….said Wernher Von Braun the German Rocket Pioneer.

Whatever the case of space may be, it is imperative that each one of us finds it, ideas of space may differ, but that’s exactly what it ought to be, our individuality defines our need for space and the kind that we resort to in order to grow and evolve as people.

Written with insights from my dear friend ST